"How's That Working for You?"

Northern Lights in Coldfoot, Alaska.  Photo by fellow traveler.

One of my previous goals.

Sleepless at 4:30 AM the thought occurred to me that the first quarter of 2012 is nearing it's end.  Time to check in on my Bucket List (http://www.brendastravelandart.blogspot.com/2012_01_01_archive.html)

to see, as Dr. Phil says, "how it's working for me."

Short Answer:  It needs tweaking.

Longer Answer:  Here's why.

After attending Dr. Michael Frisch's Life Long Learning class on Happiness 

I bought his book,

Creating Your Best Life: The Ultimate Life List Guide

http://www.amazon.com/Creating-Your-Best-Life-Ultimate/dp/1402779984/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1331840347&sr=8-1

Reading it has given me some useful ideas to adopt.  New research in positive psychology has uncovered interesting nuances in motivation and goal setting that goes beyond the oft-used S.M.A.R.T. acronym.

By the third Monday in January, "the most depressing day of the year," most people have given up their New Year's Resolutions.  So far, I'm still working on most of mine but the list has too many non-specific items for successful long term motivation.  Below are additional guidelines for success.

1. S.M.A.R.T:  Using Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, & Time-sensitive terms ensures a greater probability of achieving one's goals.

2. Challenging:  Research shows that setting "low goals" is almost as unsuccessful as setting "no goals" since both options fail to generate "authentic self-esteem."  Clearly, my tongue in cheek use of "more" after each item, while being moderately humorous, is completely unmotivating.  The equivalent of saying, "I want to be happier."  Not the least bit Specific, Measurable, Realistic, Time-sensitive or Challenging.  No wonder such phrasing never works!

3. Subgoals are the key to breaking down a challenging goal into doable chunks.  Desiring to meditate two hours a day is more easily accomplished by increasing daily meditation time by 15 minutes each week.

4. Feedback & "Deliberate Practice":  Sketching can improve my drawing but challenging myself with different sketch techniques provides feedback and makes my practice "deliberate," leading to greater improvement.

5. Approach vs. Avoidance:  Going toward a goal, "eat a salad or smoothie every day," versus avoiding something, "stop eating sugar," is a more exciting, positive prospect.  It takes less physical and mental energy to go toward something positive than it does to avoid something negative.  It also allows for backsliding without guilt.

6. Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic:  Goals originating from inner values, desires, or interests are more enjoyable than "should" goals set by family, social circle, or experts.  Intrinsic goals are akin to developing a vision or mission statement to order one's life.  "What is my vision and how does it correlate with what I'm doing on a daily basis?"  This is similar to asking yourself: "How do I want my obituary to read?"

7. Nonconflicting & Leveraged:  Goals must be logically coherent.  For example, wanting to slow down the pace of one's life and at the same time wanting to enroll in college classes, volunteer at a local charity, and have regular lunch dates with a wide circle of friends are clearly conflicting goals.

Leveraged goals complement each other when the achievement of one goal aids in the successful accomplishment of another.  For example, the desire to "meditate two hours a day" is aided by goals such as "not making morning appointments" or "going on extended meditation retreats."

8. Write it Down; It Will Happen:  Writing goals and life lists automatically puts the brain in a scanning mode for opportunities, people, and resources that will be useful.  Writing a contract with yourself that states what you're going to do, how you'll do it, and what reward you'll give yourself when you succeed is another successful writing technique.

9. Accountability:  Making some or all of your goals public, among family and friends or on an online tracking site is another useful technique.  Public accountability helps others to support you by letting them know what you'd like to accomplish, thus discouraging them from inadvertently tempting you.  If you value quiet time and a healthy diet friends who know this will be less apt to propose a weekly coffee and muffin get together.

10. "Flow":  Achieving "flow" or "being in the zone," where one loses track of time during an activity, leads to physical and mental well-being.  The happiest people pursue work and leisure activities that help them to achieve this state regularly.  One caveat:  getting lost in excessive TV viewing, video games, or mindless eating or shopping, in which one can also lose track of time leads to depressive feelings.  It's "junk flow" because such activities don't cohere with intrinsic values and lack challenge, thus depriving one of "authentic self-esteem."

Thanks to Dr. Frisch's class and book I've got some powerful tools for creating a meaningful life. The tweaking begins.